Say What…..

 

They knew what tomorrow would bring and I laid there unaware of how much my life was about to change…..

Have you ever laid there knowing that people that you love are not telling you the whole story?  They hold information back because they feel that you can not handle the truth.  However, we get that feeling inside of us that there is more.  I laid down looking up at the ceiling wondering what tomorrow was going to bring.  They wanted me to rest and sleep, but I was far from sleeping, I was just had slept for 2 weeks, I wanted answers!  And, how could anyone in their right mind sleeping with the constant, piercing, noises that surround you and objects that were on you infringing on your personal space?

1,2,3,4…I was going to be here a while I might as well start counting the ceiling tiles I said to myself but why did I have the feeling I was being watched.  I was not in a dark alley. I was not doing anything wrong.  Geeze, I was lying in a hospital bed and I couldn’t even walk.  I didn’t think I was a danger at all.  I attempted to roll my body and head so I could see the door but I was completely dead weight.  I was not going to be moving even if this hospital was on fire.  Oh well, where was I, 5, 6, 7, 8………

blood

Bruce?  Bruce?  Bruce?  Bruce?  Wake up I need to take your blood?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  I opened my eyes and here was this person hovering over me with a needle in her hand.  Didn’t they already have enough of my blood?  I had none left to give.  I felt nothing, and heard the person say thank you have a good day.  Um, your welcome, enjoy my blood, I’ll be here if you ever want to chat.  When your in a hospital you tend to over observed and over react to everything that happens to you and around you.  Well, I know I do.

Bruce?  Bruce?  Can you hear us Bruce?  Here we go again more blood I thought.  Can’t you just let me be?  If I growl, will you please go running out of my room?  I open my eyes to find my wife, her parents, and about 12 doctors and residents all staring me.  I remember thinking, what in the world did I do this time to get so much attention.  Am I dead?  Where is Ruby?  Where was my phone? I really need to update my Facebook status.

Then a lady came out of the crowd wearing a long white coat.  I squinted to read what was embroiderded on her coat.  It said, Dr. Bernard, Boston Medical Center, Cardiology Department.  Now, I was well aware what a cardiologist was and what they did.  She cleared her throat and began to talk.

“Bruce, I know you have been told why you are here and I am glad that you are looking so much better.  You gave everyone a scare and it has been a bumpy road but we are over the worse.  However, your heart has had some damage to it and we do not want it to be damaged further.  My team and I, with your wife, have discussed all the options that are available, and we think the best thing to do at this time is……” 

tyI just want to thank all of my readers and followers that have been reading my blog over the past week.  I am just your normal guy telling my story.  I have been told, that I am just seeking attention, and please know that is far from the truth.  Everyone experiences different road blocks in their own life.  I mean without them, we would all be perfect.  And trust me, I am far from perfect.  All of your support has meant so much to me and has been helping me in my road to recovery.  Bruce  

 

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12 comments

  1. I have read all of your posts this morning! I can only imagine how hard it is to re-live all that has happened since that day. My dad had a heart attack and my boyfriend had 6 bypasses at age 49. This is a very well told story!

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  2. Part of my struggle is that I found out last fall (at 47) I have calcium deposits built up in my heart so I have not escaped my family history. I had to go on medicine and I have been a little bit (or a lot bit) in denial. My needing to do all at once has come from a point of panic. Your message was so timely it’s amazing. I’m a marathon runner and a very clean water that has been on about a years hiatus from both. I’m new to both writing and blogging but it might be the smartest thing I’ve done in a long time. Heart health is a marathon, not a sprint. Your words made a huge difference in my day. Thank you.

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    • Panic, anxiety, depression yeah that will all be coming out in my story. I am also new in blogging but I have found it to be very therapeutic the last two weeks. I try to blog daily, and I am writing another one right now on “decisions” Hope to see you back. -Bruce

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Bruce.. Dont let anyone dictate what you write on your blog… This is YOUR space. This is YOUR life. If they dont like the content, they might as well just leave. That’s not nice at all.

    I’m interested to know your story, Bruce. Keep writing. 🙂

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