My doctor continues, and we think the best thing to do at this time is place a pacemaker and defibrillator inside of you to prevent any further events like the one that just occurred.


Instantly, FEAR, sets in and my mind starts to wonder in many direction.  Will my life ever be normal again.  I recently asked others (who needed a device put inside of them), what their biggest fear was.  The amount of responses have been amazing.  I would like to share some of their responses about their fears that I even have thought about:

  • being shocked and being told if I get shocked appropriately it just saved my life doesn’t make it any less scary -Emma
  • having it malfunction and blow up -Maggie
  • thought of it not working with my heart and having to have it removed and finding an alternative which could’ve been a heart transplant and having to be cut open again. -Anneke
  • EMI was my biggest concern -John
  • death from a complication (a fatal surgical infection, a fatal complication of a lead extraction, etc)
  • being shocked while driving -Ron
  • fear it would go off while with my partner -Beria
  • the most fearful thing is then getting a shock which would mean my medications are not working and of course how painful it will be. My next fear is having the thing replaced as I didn’t find it at a very easy experience. In fact it was fairly painful for quite a few days and then a long time after that very sore. Once was enough. -Robyn
  • the thought of something under my skin. It still makes me cringe now -Danielle
  • I was so scared of how they do it -Bonnie
  • I was nervous about the third lead which can be tricky placing in the left ventricle and sometimes requires a second surgery. -Kim
  • my fear is my daughter will need one and end up going through what I did.  Death is easy, suffering is hard
  • I will once again suffer from VT and without notice be shocked -Laurie
  • being dependent on it -Carol-Paul
  • scared if it moves -Pamela

(Fears Part 2, Coming Soon)




  1. To be completely honest, I’ve never thought about how it must feel for people who have to do this. Thank you for sharing all their thoughts. I’m glad that this is therapeutic for you…it’s enlightening for many of us reading it.


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