OMG 365 Days Old!!!

*If this is the first time you are visiting my blog I would highly recommend that you check out my first two blog entries by clicking HERE and HERE to understand my blog*

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Happy Birthday Buddy!  Today my buddy is officially 365 days old.  If you look in the right hand corner of this x-ray you can see my little buddy.  I still can remember the day that you decided to enter my body even though I was on some heavy drugs and I slurred my speech.  You gave everyone a scare, including me who did not want you impeding on my body.  By the way, you are overdue in your rent!!!

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I am sorry that you had to enter my body without and food or liquid.  No one would let me eat or drink before your arrival and trust me it was not easy at all.  I fought with everyone that day, worried that you wouldn’t have the nutrients to survive.  However, you turned out OK even though you freak me out at times.  Luckily, you haven’t acted up this year and have remained on Santa’s good list but it was a scary year.  Don’t ever jiggle inside of me or we will have to have words!

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As a new parent, I was clueless what to expect with you inside of me.  I did hesitate accepting you as a member of the family.  There were many times where I did not know if you were fine or the things that I was feeling was all from that anxiety.  I have learned through countless monitoring by your favorite doctor that you haven’t acted up.  I am proud of you!  I am proud of myself that I have not given up on you and kicked you out of my body.  I am starting to adjust to you, even though you mess with my head.

I have heard you speak only once to me in the doctor’s office and I don’t ever want you to hear you speak again even though your beeping did sound romantic, once was enough and honestly my nerves can’t handle it.  So, how is it in there?  Is there anything that I can do to make you feel more at home?  I continue to lose weight, and I am determined to get to my personal goal, so please get use to the grapefruit and celery that you consume each day.

As I continue to live each day, you always remind me of how lucky I truly am to give birth to you.  I have learned that many people have one of you inside of them and they are also grateful, but let me tell you, you just simply scare me.  Unfortunately, I can not control how my mind decides to think, and I have anxiety attacks and flashbacks.  You lucked out and came after everything traumatic had happened.  My wife, friends, and family are beyond appreciative of what you have done.  You are the center of my life!

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Please remember to pay your rent on time, I am going broke.  Please watch over me in my bad times and good.  Always follow me, if I want you to or not.  Please guide me and lead me in the right direction.  Oh, and please tell my heart that I have not forgotten about it.  I hope by giving it you, you two have bonded well (just watch what you do)!

Happy Birthday Buddy, Happy Birthday!

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21 comments

    • You will do it! Everyone’s recovery time is different. Some people go back to the world within 3 days, I had a traumatic event and it has been hard for me to get back out there. I am always here if you have any questions. Don’t worry the drugs are great!

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  1. Happy Re-Birthday!!! I have enjoyed reading your blog. I sat and read the whole thing in one morning. I am at about a year and a half right now. When I got my ICD I was having an ablation and that is when they discovered I have VT. And basically told me I wasn’t going home with out it. Who was I to argue. It is a big adjustment and I believe takes time to really accept it. Thanks for keeping us updated. =)

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    • Thanks Deb. It is getting easier each day. I am back on the job market and trying to ease my way back into the world. I can’t believe it has been a year.

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  2. I am so glad that you are getting back to your usual life. It will take time I guess. I still get flashes of my hospital ride as dreams and wake up all sweaty. It sucks. But life goes on. My cats helped me feel better. How is your cat?
    Happy re-birthday 🙂

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